How and When To Explain Puberty to Your Child (Outside of Science Class)

Puberty isn’t an easy time for anyone — it’s challenging for the kids, and tricky for the parents, too. In fact, for many, ‘the talk’ can be one of the toughest parts of parenting.

With that in mind, we’ve broken down everything you need to know about explaining puberty to your kids. We’ll cover exactly what you should discuss, when you should discuss it, and how to explain puberty in a way that doesn’t send them running!

Firstly, when should you explain puberty (and what happens) to your child?

This is a tricky one because you don’t want to intimidate your child with too much information too soon, nor do you want your child to enter puberty without knowing what to expect. That would be super scary.

The key is to strike a balance between having the conversation soon enough, but not too soon.

And for most children, that age is around eight years old.

While this might sound a little young at first, when you consider that most girls are already wearing training bras by this age, and that some boys aren’t too far from their voices breaking — you’ll quickly change your mind.

Consider this, too:

Most girls get their first period by the ages of 12 or 13 (which occurs a good two years into puberty), and the average boy will experience physical and sexual changes from as early as 10 or 11.

And what’s more, it’s entirely normal for puberty to begin as early as eight years old. This is why it’s important that your child knows what to expect by around that age. It leaves enough time for them to prepare for what’s to come, but doesn’t cut things too finely.

There’s also the fact that the older your child gets, the more exposed they will be to information online, on television, and even in person, at school.

And here’s the thing — it’s really important your child learns about puberty from you, first.

How to explain puberty: everything you need to know

Aside from having ‘the talk’ relatively early, there are a host of other factors you need to consider before explaining puberty to your child.

You should lead the way

A child can’t talk about something they don’t yet understand — that’s why it’s your job to make sure puberty is on the agenda.

And don’t worry, we totally understand that this isn’t the easiest of topics to raise. But more often than not, the conversation will be harder for you than it will for your kids. Remember that, and don’t stress yourself out too much — we’re all in this together!

Focus on the important details

Puberty is a pretty broad term, and it refers to many, many things.

There are physical changes, emotional changes, and things each sex experiences. Because of all this, it can sometimes be difficult to know what to focus on in your discussions.

So, let’s break down the basics.

First, when explaining puberty to your daughter, you’ll need to let her know that her body will begin to change:

• Her hips and legs will become more rounded
• Her breasts will start to grow
• And she’ll begin to experience monthly periods.

Explain to your daughter what a period is (in simple terms), and that she shouldn’t be worried or concerned about any blood or bleeding. This is a really important topic to cover, as blood and cramps could be very scary if your daughter doesn’t know what to expect.

Next, when explaining puberty to a boy, you’ll need to cover the fact that:

• His genitals will begin to grow
• His voice will deepen
• His muscles will grow bigger
• And he’ll slowly start to grow facial and body hair.

You’ll also need to be open with your son about ejaculation, and that he might experience this in his sleep. Reassure him that this is a totally normal thing to happen, and that there’s nothing to worry about if it does.

On top of these changes, you’ll also need to talk to your child about general changes in puberty, too, such as:

• The growth of pubic hair
• The ability to sweat and body odor
• Growth spurts
• And the common occurrence of acne.

Finally, here’s four top tips for when it comes to talking about puberty

#1: Teach your kids about the other sex too

Teaching your child about the experiences of the other sex is super important, as it’ll help to expand their knowledge of puberty more generally and understand that it not just happening to them.

And don’t forget, that puberty is usually when your child will first start to experience attraction, which is why understanding different sexes are so important.

#2: Be reassuring

We’ve already touched on this briefly above, but it’s crucial to tackle puberty in a reassuring and comforting way.

Physical and emotional changes can be really intense and intimidating for children. It’s essential that you’re there to let them know that there’s no need to be scared or worried when these changes occur. And if they’re feeling strong feelings, they should feel comfortable knowing they can talk to you about them.

#3: Be completely open

When it comes to puberty, no topic should be off-limits. Make sure that your child knows they can always talk to you about their changes, and that they shouldn’t ever feel embarrassed about puberty or growing up.

This is a great way of keeping an open dialogue with your child — today and into the future. If you’re unsure how much information is TMI, let your child lead the way and answer their questions as they arise.

#4: Always leave time for questions

Whenever you talk to your child about puberty, make sure that you leave enough time for questions.

This is how you keep the conversation constantly evolving; by being there whenever you’re needed, and putting your child’s mind at ease whenever it needs to be. Puberty is a process that takes years and shouldn’t be a once-off conversation.

Now, it’s over to you…

Explaining puberty to your kids doesn’t have to be the challenge you might first think it to be. Lead the way, be open, be reassuring, and you’ll quickly find that it’s not so difficult to talk about after all. You can incorporate fun worksheets like the endocrine system to help kids understand how hormones can create powerful changes. And, if you’re really feeling lost in the woods and need a helping hand, consider a book on puberty, like this really fun and sweet one, Hair in Funny Places by Babette Cole.

Just make sure to cover all bases, and you can’t go wrong!

And on that note, don’t forget to check out our blog for more articles on parenting, homeschooling and so much more.