How to Promote Moral Development in Children + 3 Activities

There are no good or bad children, but there are good and bad ways of teaching children to identify and reason about the things in their environment. A lot of great minds in the field of developmental psychology have dedicated their careers to finding the mechanism through which children internalize moral values, calling this phenomenon – moral development.

We, on the other hand, have dedicated this comprehensive guide on moral development in children, where we share the most important findings and show you how to promote prosocial behavior in kids. 

Starting from the basics, we’ll help you understand how children learn to recognize right from wrong, and what’s the role of teachers and parents in this process. Once we summarize the contemporary frameworks in the field, we’ll share with you 3 specific activities you can easily implement in the classroom or at home. 

Defining Morality and Moral Development

Let’s start with the basics. The general definition of morality is described as a set of principles that people use to distinguish between right and wrong, or good and bad behavior. On the other hand, moral development is the process through which children acquire those sets of principles. 

Whenever we talk about moral development, we’re actually talking about moral development in children because, by the time the individual becomes an adult, they have already developed a moral identity or morality. Although we know that the person changes throughout their whole life, there’s no evidence that moral development continues after late adolescence. 

What this tells us is that childhood is a critical period for obtaining the right set of moral principles. 

Another thing worth noting here is that the term “right moral values” is a little bit of a controversial phrase. In theory, ethics and moral philosophers have written many books about what’s a universal right, but in practice, things are very different. In the real world, our immediate environment, culture, and traditions shape our beliefs about morality, and that, in turn, will define our expectations for how we want our children to reason and behave. 

However, regardless of the values we choose to promote, there are a couple of influential theories and concepts of moral development in children that show us what’s behind the curtains of this process. 

Theories and Concepts of Moral Development

While googling the topic of moral development in children, you’ll undoubtedly come across the name of Kohlberg, as he’s the most influential psychologist whose ideas still figure as an acceptable framework on moral development today. But, breaking down Kohlberg’s ideas without first mentioning Piaget just doesn’t feel right. 

Most people have heard of Piaget while reading about cognitive development, as he’s the founder of developmental psychology. But, he is also the first one (outside of philosophy) to document his scientific findings and try to develop a theory of moral development in children. 

Piaget believed that (1) children develop moral ideas in stages and (2) they do this as they construct their idea of the world through interaction. He rejected the notion that moral norms are the same as cultural norms, and thought that they shouldn’t be taught through formal education.

According to Piaget, peers, not teachers or parents, were responsible for the development of moral beliefs such as equality, altruism, justice, etc. 

His research was highly influential for a very long time and even inspired the famous Kohlberg to develop his theory on moral development in children, which transformed the psychological community in that field. 

The 6 Stages of Moral Development in Children

Lawrence Kohlberg is an American psychologist who went down in history as the 30th most eminent psychologist of the 20th century due to his work in the field of moral development. 

The 6 stages of moral development in children, also known as Lawrence Kohlberg’s stages of moral development, is a scientific framework that builds on the ideas of Piaget. What Kohlberg did is he expanded Piaget’s main ideas and added his own views.

Kohlberg believed that moral reasoning is a necessary but not sufficient condition for moral behavior. This means that having knowledge of what’s right and wrong doesn’t mean that it’s enough for one to behave accordingly. 

According to Kohlberg, moral development is tied to the concept of justice. This is the reason why he studied children’s reasoning by presenting moral problems such as the Heinz dilemma and analyzed how children would justify their answers. Later, he used these findings to construct his infamous theory of moral development. 

His findings support the idea that there are three phases and six stages of moral development. 

Phase I: Pre-Conventional

During this phase, children’s moral judgment is externally guided. This means that children accept and believe whatever the authorities (parents and teachers) tell them. However, those are still external norms that the child doesn’t perceive as its own, which is why they might break them if they think no one will know or they simply don’t like them. This phase is typically seen in children up to the age of 9 (Preschool to elementary school. Very few children might still be in phase one in high-school).

Stage 1. Punishment and obedience
Reasoning: It’s okay to do it if you don’t get caught.

During this stage, children follow the rules because they want to avoid being punished. They believe that an action is wrong because the person was punished. 

Stage 2. Instrumental – Relativist
Reasoning: If it feels good, do it.

During this stage, children reason from the position of  “what’s in it for me?” If an action is in their interest they’ll perceive it as morally good, with little or no regard to the needs of others. This is usually the time when the child thinks it’s okay to do somebody else’s homework if they get paid or when they help someone on the test if they get something in return. 

Phase II: Conventional

The conventional phase is most often seen in children in upper-middle school, and high-school. However, stage 4 doesn’t appear (typically) until high-school, or even after high-school in some children. Here, children’s morality is tied to their social relationships and their identity. They continue to accept the values of the authorities, but because they believe they’re necessary to maintain positive relationships with others. They rarely question if a rule is fair or appropriate. 

Stage 3. The good boy/girl attitude
Reasoning: Society determines who’s good or bad.

During this stage, children conform to the social norms that are accepted by the majority because they seek approval and avoid disapproval of other people in their environment (usually peers). 

Stage 4. Law and Order (Law and order morality)
Reasoning: Do it because it’s your duty. 

During this stage, children believe that we should obey the rules without exception because they’re important in maintaining a functional society. Rules and laws are the same for everyone and we should obey them because that’s what we’re supposed to do. According to Kohlberg, most people stay in this stage their whole life where morality is still externally determined.

Phase III: Post-Conventional

Kohlberg believed that not many people reach the post-conventional phase. In fact, he argues that around 15% of people over their 20s reach the fifth and sixth stage. It’s very rarely (almost never) seen in children before college or university. In this phase, a person’s morality is defined in more abstract principles that are dependent on the context and can’t be easily generalized. Because individuals in stage six evaluate their moral values beyond the typical social conventions, their behavior might be confused with that of those at the pre-conventional level. 

Stage 5. Social contract orientation
Reasoning: The rules sometimes may be wrong or unfair. Morality is a consensus between my individual rights and societal norms. 

During this stage, people understand that people hold different opinions, rights, and values. Based on those differences, democratically-agreed laws can stray from their personal values. For this reason, they might choose to ignore the laws when they disagree with their personal values, although are aware of the consequences. 

Stage 6. Universal ethical principles

Reasoning: I should/shouldn’t do that because it violates my personal rules. 

In this stage, people live in accordance with their own moral principles. They use moral reasoning that’s based on universal ethical principles. Laws are valid only if they’re based on justice. If they’re not, then people might believe they should disobey the laws are a commitment to justice. 

How to Recognize the Moral Choices Children Make?

Aside from Kohlberg, there are many others, who also theorized about moral development in children and defined specific frameworks. But what good are theories if we can’t relate them to our daily life? More specifically, based on everything that we’ve said so far, how can you recognize when your child makes a moral decision? 

There’s an easy way to put the theory into practice. Simply, observe the child while it interacts with the people around them, or put them in a morally challenging situation, see how they’ll respond, and ask them why they think that was a good decision. 

Here is an everyday situation and examples of how a pre-schooler or a school-age child can behave, based on Kohlberg’s stages of moral development. 

“Your mom made cookies for your brother/sister’s class. She said that nobody should eat them, but you really want a cookie. What would you do?”

Answers: 

• I’ll take one when she’s not looking. (pre-conventional, stage 1)
• I won’t take one because mom will be mad/punish me. (pre-conventional, stage 1)
• I’ll take one because mom’s cookies are really tasty. (pre-conventional, stage 2)
• I won’t eat them because I don’t like cookies. (pre-conventional, stage 2)
• I won’t take a cookie because mom will be sad/won’t love me. (conventional, stage 3)
• I won’t take a cookie because I’m a good boy/girl. (conventional, stage 3)

This example is way too trivial for stages beyond level 3, as children in level 4 are already in high-school, and they connect morality with more important concepts. However, it’s a good example for you to see how would a child’s answers look like based on the above-described theory. Of course, you shouldn’t expect the exact same answers, but try to find the underlying justification in your kid’s answer, so you can see in what stage of moral development they are. 

It’s also worth mentioning that sometimes, children can reason well beyond the stage they’re in. This means that they might use a justification from stage 4, for example, but when put to the test, behave differently and then justify their behavior with an excuse corresponding to a lower stage. This is why observation and open conversation after your child does something (good or bad) is the best way to evaluate their moral development.  

How Does the Social Environment Shapes Morality?

It should be apparent by now that morality is not something that children can learn through a book. Moreover, Piaget believes that adults can’t teach morality to children because that’s something that children construct as they make sense of the world and the interactions between people. 

However, this doesn’t mean that the immediate social environment, teachers, and parents don’t affect the moral development in children, far from it! The problem is, there’s a complex relationship between children’s moral development and the people around them, which makes it hard for all of us to define specific educational practices that will be effective for all children or in all situations. 

Let’s first examine the role of teachers and parents in children’s moral development, and then we’ll share some specific activities that might help children understand empathy and the importance of prosocial behavior, which might facilitate their moral reasoning.  

The Role of the Parent in Moral Development

According to an article published in the Journal of Moral Education, the affective and cognitive components of parents’ interactions with their children can encourage their moral development, even though morality is constructed through reciprocal social interactions. 

What this means is that, first, parents play a role in providing a cognitive mechanism which is the base on which moral development can progress. Simply put, it would be very hard for kids to make sense of the complex rules that govern our social relationships without any context, having someone to explain to them the consequences, or reasoning behind people’s actions. 

Second, the affective relationship in the family can influence the children’s motivation to listen and respond to specific requests. Having a close bond with your kid can facilitate their moral development because children will be interested in maintaining that bond and will start to empathize with your emotional responses. 

The Role of the Teacher in Moral Development

Children’s discipline is becoming one of the biggest challenges in schools nowadays. This is why answering the question “how can teachers facilitate children’s moral development?” is of utmost importance. 

But, how can teachers teach morality in school, if we support the ideas that morality can’t be learned through formal education? Well, many schools have moral education subjects in school, and yet those schools don’t figure as more effective in handling youth morality problems. We believe this is because teachers and schools as social and educational institutions need to take a different approach. 

Teachers must ask of themselves what they ask of their students. The classroom provides a myriad of moral dilemmas and issues such as cheating, lying, bullying, keeping or breaking promises, and so on. This is why learning about morality might lay in the everyday interactions and relationships between the teacher and students, rather than simply teaching moral philosophy. 

Just to be clear, we are not against formal moral education. In fact, we endorse it, but we are here to point to another more important role that the teacher plays in the moral development of children. The teacher is and should be a moral model. What we mean by this is that teachers must be there to embody the moral principles first and teach second. If a teacher is perceived as unfair or comes late to classes, chances are children won’t be motivated to keep their promises or do their homework in time.  

How to Promote Morality in Children?

Whether you’re a parent or a teacher, here are some examples of how to encourage moral development in children. 

Be Clear About Moral Values

In our previous sections, we mentioned that parents (teachers, too) provide a cognitive mechanism for the moral development in children. This means that children should have a clear definition of what’s good, bad, right, or wrong. If you say one thing, but then try to rationalize a contradictory behavior, or simply add exceptions to the rules, the child won’t think of the moral norms as something important (because you can always find excuses). 

Lead by Example

This goes without saying, but let’s go over it once again. Children’s brain is like a sponge that takes in everything from their environment. This means that even though you said “you should be patient and respect others,” if they see you cut the line and taking someone’s place when you’re in a hurry, they’ll think that the rule doesn’t matter – “If mommy does it, it’s okay.”

Hold The Child Accountable

All these pieces of advice are based on one thing – consistency. Whether that’s consistency in your teachings, in your behavior, or in your ability to follow through, the child learns better and benefits when there’s consistency. Sometimes, this means consistency in keeping them grounded when they do something wrong. 

Instill Guilt, Not Shame!

This is crucial! If you’re not careful, your wish to endorse prosocial behavior might end up in a socially withdrawn and insecure individual. The distinction between these two things in your wording and behavior. When you scold the child, criticize their actions, not their personality, and give explanations! 

Guilt = I did a bad thing!

Shame = I am bad! 

A good example of this might be a situation in which you catch your child lying.

 
You can say: “I’m very sad because when you lie, I don’t know how to trust you next time. You’re grounded because you lied.”

Don’t say: “I’ll never trust you. You’re grounded because you’re a liar!”

Praise Prosocial Behavior

Reward prosocial behavior with emotional support, words of encouragement, and praise your kid in front of close friends and family. Children love to feel supported and to know that they make you proud, which will motivate them to continue to behave well.  

Promote Morality Through Playful Activities

Children learn about morality by constructing an idea about the world through social interactions. However, there are many activities through which you can face children with moral challenges and opportunities where they can use that experience to conclude what’s good and right and what’s bad or wrong. Here are a couple of activities that you can easily implement in the classroom or at home. 

Play Group Games

Playing a group game where everyone has to follow specific rules is a great opportunity to teach children about fairness, equal opportunities, and justice. At first, they might see a benefit in cheating, but because they’re playing with many other people, they’ll soon realize the consequences of someone else’s cheating. Just be careful. Make sure you punish those who cheat, otherwise children will think that cheating is acceptable. 

Role-playing a Story

Another great way to show the consequences of immoral behavior is by role-playing a story that centers around a moral issue. Children involved in the acting will have a first-hand experience, while the others will identify with the characters. 

When the play finishes, leave some room for discussion. Start with the children who directly took part in the play and let them tell the whole classroom who they felt. Afterward, try to encourage children to tell how would have they acted in that kind of situation and why.  

Discuss a Moral Dilemma

Kohlberg used moral dilemmas to study moral reasoning in children, but we can use them to encourage children to think differently and see the many possible outcomes and consequences of the situation. Moral dilemmas might seem easy at first, but once you start discussing them in the classroom, you’ll be faced with many different arguments and positions, that you might not have thought of at first! 

Before You Leave 

Moral development in children is an important topic for both parents and teachers. In today’s society, we’re witnessing a lot of deviance in young people and teenagers, which makes us wonder whether we’re doing things right. If you share the same sentiment then our article might have helped you understand things better and have a clearer idea of your role in the child’s moral development. 

Homeschool parents, as they have the same responsibility teachers have, in a way, can also benefit from the examples that show how to recognize and encourage prosocial behavior in different stages of life, as kids spend most of the time at home. 

If you’re interested in more articles on similar and other topics regarding children’s education, visit our blog! Anything else you need, you can find on our main website by simply browsing through our collection of worksheets and other teaching resources.