How Homeschools Affect Children’s Social Development

The topic of homeschooling and socialization has been one of the most heavily researched issues for years now, yet people still have trouble conceiving how or if a child can develop optimal social and emotional skills when homeschooled. Most of the time these concerns are goodhearted, but because they’re said from a position where people assume the conventional way of doing things is the right way, they might irritate or even unsettle you. 

These assumptions arise from a variety of misconceptions. First, many people don’t really understand the concept of socialization. Yes, we all know what the word socialization means, but can we theoretically define it? Moreover, people don’t take into account the many different forms of socialization, nor its complex relationship with the development that varies throughout different life stages, before speaking. 

To put your mind at ease, we’re revisiting the topic of homeschooling and socialization and clearing the air once and for all. If you’re thinking about homeschooling, this article can help you understand the importance of different aspects of homeschooling. On the other hand, if you’re an experienced homeschooling parent, keep reading to get better arguments against headstrong naysayers. 

What Is Socialization?

First things first. Let’s define socialization. The general definition consists of two equally important concepts. Unfortunately, most people make a mistake by considering only the first when talking about socialization. 

Socialization is (1) the activity of interacting with other people through which (2) the process of internalizing occurs. We internalize norms, rules, appropriate behaviors, values, ideologies, basic attitudes, self-image, and everything else that’s culturally dependent. 

The product of socialization is internalization i.e learning how to be a member of our society. This is important because it gives us hints on how we can measure adequate socialization and identify specific socialization skills. Furthermore, this definition doesn’t define specific means of interaction with other people, which tells us there might be more than one way in which we can internalize social norms. What we mean is, it doesn’t say that socialization is the activity of interacting with peers in public schools – this is just one of the many ways in which we can socialize. 

Speaking of different ways of socializing, the next question we can ask is “What are the agents of socialization in a homeschooling environment?” or better yet “How does socialization look like in a homeschooling environment?”

To answer these questions, we’ll briefly discuss the agents of socialization in general and take a look at the social development milestones during different stages of life. This is going to tell us how children socialize and what we expect them to take out of the process of socialization. From there on, it would be easy for us to make parallels and draw conclusions about the relationship between homeschooling and socialization. Although, we won’t say anything more or less than what the research hasn’t already taught us. 

Agents of Socialization

There are several sources of socialization that are academically called “the agents of socialization”. They appear in the form of social structures, organizations, institutions, or simply a characterized group of people. In academic literature, sociologists identify five different agents of socialization. 

The first and most important agent of socialization, especially for children, is the family. The other four agents of socialization include schools, peers, mass media, and religion. 

The two agents of socialization that are of concern to us in the context of homeschooling and socialization are schools and peers. Peer relationships are important for emotional comfort, companionship, and support. 

From birth to around seven years of age, the family is the primary source of socialization, which is true for all children. When they’re six or seven years old, children start to seek independence, and there’s a dramatic shift in their life as school and peers take precedence. However, this doesn’t happen for homeschooled kids. In the second situation, the family stays as a dominant source of socialization, only taking a new role. This is neither good nor bad. 

There are many factors that affect, both positively and negatively, the socialization process in homeschooling as well as public schools. We’ll discuss these factors in detail later on, but first, let’s see what are the social milestones that children are expected to achieve. 

Stages of the Social-Emotional Development in Children

Socialization is strongly connected to developmental psychology, which is the scientific study of how and why we change throughout life, from conception to death. This is because socialization is a learning process that makes us “human”. 

A part of socialization is morality, which is achieved if and when socialization produces desirable outcomes. However, socializing is much more important because, first and foremost, it makes the person satisfied, happy, and accomplished. There’s a lot of research documenting the severe consequences of social exclusion and rejection, such us struggling to make decisions, withdrawal, aggression, hostility, cognitive decline, and much more.  

But before we jump to the strengths and weaknesses of homeschooling that might lead to or prevent such negative outcomes, let’s examine the normal social development of school-aged children. 

The social and emotional development of children includes temperament, attachment (the bond with care-givers/family), social skills, and emotional regulation. However, these areas do not develop all at once, but rather slowly, as the child takes in more from the environment. This is why a positive and stimulating environment is crucial. 

We’ll only consider the stages where the child starts formal education.

6-8 Years of Age

From six to eight years old, children enjoy playing with other children and they engage in conversations more independently. They test boundaries through which they learn what’s acceptable and what isn’t. During these years, children also start to feel embarrassed for the first time, which means they’re more perceptive to the reactions of other children and may complain at first.  

9-12 Years of Age

In this stage, children need closer social and emotional bonds with peers, which means spending more time together, sharing secrets, and telling jokes. This is also the time where children will start to withdraw from the family and focus more on being independent. They will explore many different emotional states intensely. 

Adolescence 

In adolescence, children are most intensely involved with their peer relationships. They’ll build their self-worth and self-esteem based on how they believe they are perceived by others. This means that they usually value the opinion of their friends much more than before. They’ll start to experiment to find out who they are and where they fit. For this to happen, they need to have strong relationships with friends with whom they interact daily. 

The Relationship Between Homeschool and Socialization

Considering the above-mentioned stages and milestones that kids have to reach, we can take a look and analyze the homeschooling environment, which might affect children’s social development positively or negatively. 

What factors in the homeschooling environment affect the social-emotional development of children?

The first and most important factor is the whole family dynamic, such as the way family members interact with each other and what roles they play. The family dynamic affects the development and socialization of all children, regardless of whether they’re homeschooled or go to a public school. But, in the case of homeschooling, where the family continues to be a dominant source of socialization after the age of six or seven, the family dynamic has greater influence. 

The second factor is participation in different groups, extracurricular activities, and courses. Children must engage in social interaction with peers to fulfill their needs. This is an area where homeschooling parents must work harder than parents whose children go to a public school. This is because, in public schools, children interact with their peers daily for a long time. The opportunities to bond and form relationships suffice. On the other hand, going to a group course twice or three times a week is just not enough, especially for older children. Think of ways in which you can engage your child in a variety of different social activities, daily. We’ll also add some specific examples at the end of this article. 

Finally, another factor that can affect the relationship between homeschooling and socialization (either positively or negatively) is the curriculum and teaching instructions. When we say this, we don’t mean the academic literature itself, but the way that curriculum is organized and delivered. As a tutor or homeschool teacher, you’ll have the responsibility of teaching the child many social norms, values, and cultural characteristics, which are usually learned in school. A good example of this would be planting trees on the annual Earth Day. You can tell children about the day and explain its meaning, but if you don’t participate in the same rituals and traditions, the child might feel left out. 

In addition to the third factor, you need to also teach children to respect diversity and have tolerance for others that are different from them. This might be a little bit more tricky, considering that the child is not exposed to kids of different genders, races, ethnicities, or religions, daily, but with a little effort, it’s more than achievable.  

The Strengths

The factors that we’ve mentioned above can affect socialization positively or negatively depending on their nature and execution in each family. But, let’s see the general aspects of homeschooling that positively affect socialization. 

Individual Attention

Children get your whole attention. They’re not outcasts or in the shadow of other children, which means they’ll get an opportunity to express themselves freely without constraints. Plus, they have more time to go over the materials, meaning that it might be easier for them to grasp certain notions. 

No Bullying 

Another major advantage of homeschooling is the lack of bullying and peer rejection that’s a serious problem in public schools. This means that being homeschooled might help children be more resilient to such peer pressures, which in turn will help with better emotional regulation and maturity. 

No Exam Anxiety

Regular schools are usually a great source of stress and anxiety due to the standardized examinations, oral examinations, and fierce competition between peers. Many times children even relate their self-worth to scores and grades, which can be very destructive. Homeschools don’t have this problem. They usually represent a very positive and safe environment for children. 

The Weaknesses 

Unfortunately, no system is perfect. But, don’t think of the weaknesses as something fixed. Instead, think of these examples as considerations that will help you build a stronger and better homeschool practice if you keep them in mind. 

The first weakness of homeschools and socialization is the time spent with peers. While extracurricular activities are a must, they’re still not the same as spending half the day with a large number of people, including their closest friends. This can become a problem of socialization, in some cases, if the child feels left out if their friends spend more time together. 

The second weakness of homeschooling is missing out on social events like the Prom, for example. To compensate for this, many homeschoolers organize a Homeschool Prom thanks to the many networks and support groups. 

The Takeaway Message:
How Does Homeschooling Affect Socialization?

It should be apparent by now how complex and far-reaching this topic actually is. This somewhat explains the mixed feelings and confusion when it comes to homeschooling and socialization. But, we can easily argue the same thing about public schools and socialization.

The bottom line is, homeschooling affects socialization positively (when done right)! We can leave all the myths behind, and instead focus on activities that will help the child develop into a mature, accomplished, and positive adult! 

Before we say our closing words, let us leave you with some specific examples on how to integrate your child into the real world and facilitate the socialization process while homeschooling. 

Tips for Optimal Social Development While Homeschooling

If you’re still wondering how to socialize your child while homeschooling, here are a couple of ideas. 

Co-ops

Homeschool support groups or commonly known as co-ops are a group (usually by geographical closeness) of families that work together by helping each other to achieve specific goals, whether academic or social. These groups are organized by parents, although many times a teacher or tutor is hired to help with some units. 

Extracurricular Activities

Extracurricular activities can be pretty much anything that involves a formal learning structure for students, but it isn’t required for school credit. These types of activities are usually performed in a group by students of the same age. They’re voluntary, of academic, social, or philanthropic character. 

You can even contact the public school in your area to find extracurricular activities, as many states require public schools to allow for homeschooled students to participate. 

Clubs and Classes

Signing up your child for classes in a group activity is a perfect opportunity for socialization. You can go to sports, music, dance, arts, crafts, and so much more. You can also find clubs for children in your area. Don’t be afraid to try different things! 

Before You Leave

It seems like people still hold some outdated beliefs about homeschooling and socialization, which is why questions like “But, what about socialization?” frequently pop up in conversations about homeschooling. Don’t fret! We saw that these issues are due to some misconceptions, that now, hopefully, you know how to identify and explain. 

But what’s most important to us is that you’re left with deeper knowledge about your child’s social-emotional development, which will help you make the right decisions along the road. 

Our team at KidsKonnect is always here to support your homeschooling journey. On our blog, we regularly share articles like this one, where we discuss topics that are useful and relevant to parenting, homeschooling, and education in general. On the main website, you’ll find a massive collection of worksheets, curriculums, and other teaching resources on a wide range of topics.